Should I give a second thought? 

Should I give a second thought?

It’s an interesting question as there is no definite answer. First thought is usually our instinct, and at most time it leads to the right way.

Like “is he stupid?” “Is he a free rider?” “I should take this way.” “I like this art!”

But for most time, I took a second thought almost like a conditional reflex, which made me hesitated. To be frank, I hate this kind of hesitation when it was caused my shy nature because it slows down my pace resulting in low efficiency, makes me lose originality of ideas, and makes people not understand me thoroughly. I usually show this type of hesitation when I want to express my ideas. I worry that my idea may not contain much value and decide to reconsider it. Sometimes the idea is presented by others and it turns out to be a great idea. I feel so regretted when such things happen that I get mad at myself. Also, I hesitate to express my emotions, especially anger towards somebody. I concern that if my anger has rationale or it would cause embarrassment or break up the  relationship between us. Though timidity/shyness is my nature, I did try hard to get over it in many cases. For many times, even though I still couldn’t  stop giving a second thought, I encouraged myself to express my ideas and feelings to the public. In this way, I have gained some confidence, but at the same time, I know it’s very difficult to change my nature so I accept timidity as part of my character.

On the other hand, however, a second thought saves me sometimes.  Once, when I was about to jump onto a train just because the close-door ring rang, a thought that I should check its direction first came into my mind.  After checking, I found it was actually toward the wrong direction. On the other occasion, I felt angry by seeing something which seems ridiculous for me, but I decided to understand what had happened exactly first. It turned out that the person didn’t do anything wrong just I hadn’t see the whole story. In those cases, a second thought helped me.

Hence, it’s rather difficult to tell the difference between hesitation caused by  timidity or prudence. I still need a great number of exercises of explicit expression. At the same time, being thoughtful is a good quality and I don’t need to worry about it too much.

How about you? Do you often give a second thought like me as well? Or you are much more direct and frank? Do you like this kind of character? Does it bring you more lucks or sometimes it brings you uncomfortable things as well? Tell me about your stories!!

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